You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You can do anything you want to if you just put your mind to it!” at least once in your life.

That statement is altogether misleading and unfairly forces many of us to believe that we should follow through no matter how unhappy the tasks or position makes us. The trouble is human beings are, by creation, gifted differently. Nobody excels at everything.

For most of us, this is obvious and easy to accept in some areas, and more difficult to face in others. For example, it’s easier for most of us to recognize that no matter how much we practice, we’ll never play golf like Tiger Woods than it is to acknowledge that we'll never learn how to be the life of the party like Cousin Joe.

Having a successful life, one full of meaning and fulfillment requires not only knowing your gifts and talents, but also knowing your limitations. In other words knowing what you cannot do is just as important as knowing what you can. Identifying those things that you aren’t good at – you know the things that make you feel unhappy and leave you feeling unfulfilled is the first step to finding life success and fulfillment. Because when you waste your natural abilities you often feel stuck doing something you hate - weed those skills out.

I invite you to go one step further – learn to celebrate your limitations!

This allows you to focus your time and effort on pursuits, behaviors, careers and life directions that are supported by your natural gifts and talents. It also opens you up to experiencing the appreciation and joy that come from discovering the gifts and talents that others bring to your life. When we are doing what we love, we are often performing at our best. This leads to a kind of fulfillment that allows us to live life passionately and happily.

Next time you’re invited out with friends, instead of trying to be like Cousin Joe, consider what it is that you uniquely bring to the party – what you are most comfortable doing – and do more of that! Most of us have undeveloped talents that lie hidden inside us until they’re recognized and acted upon. Each of our talents is an opportunity waiting to happen. Celebrate the fact that you don’t have to take on the stress of being like Joe (he’s got it handled) and you are free to be you and enjoy yourself!

About the Author:

Gary Jordan, Ph.D., has over 27 years of experience in clinical psychology, behavioral assessment, individual development, and coaching. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology – Berkeley. He’s the co-founder of Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., a consulting firm that specializes in helping people discover their true skills and talents. www.vrft.com

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