Do you realize that when you speak, move or look at people in a particular way, you actually trigger off certain judgments?

Are you aware that the manner in which you speak, the body languageor posture you take on affect the people around you, and this could put you in unpleasant situations, especially in situations when people interpret your communication incorrectly.

Doing so breaks the rapport we have with others, sabotaging our communication in the process. Being aware of our language and mannerisms, we can learn how to use them effectively for the purpose of building rapport with others.

In fact, if you were to walk into a restaurant and observe people, couples especially, you will be able to tell the difference between couples who are in very close rapport with each other and couples who have been married for a long time. We just simply need to observe their body language.

For instance, if the woman is leaning forward, it is very likely that she would be in rapport with her partner, and he would be leaning forward too. The uncanny harmony makes them somewhat like mirror images to each other. And very often when one starts to move, the other also moves, making the entire communication process looks like a dance of harmony.

Their body postures look very similar too. Have you seen a couple's photograph? Take a close look at their facial expressions. Many couples tend to look a lot like each other, this is reflected themost in their smile and eyes.

This happens probably because due to the intimate contact they have had over the years, leading to a lot of unconscious modeling of each party.

Do you know of anyone who owns a pet? Most of the time, the pet somehow takes on the features of its owner, sometimes physically, sometimes in terms of their behavior.

Think about your close group of friends. I am certain you hear similar language, phrases or opinions in a social gathering. You probably share similar mannerisms, interests and even values. The more similarities you have, the greater in rapport you tend to be. These few examples boil down to one interesting fact; All of us tend to like things that are similar to ourselves.

Thus, the primary principle in rapport building is to create similarity. Similarity leads to trust, and trust leads to an open flow of communication. What results is a positive feeling of being in the company of someone you like. There are certain patterns of behavior that occur naturally in the process of communication and rapport.

Thus it is actually very easy to build rapport with other people once we understand how to use these patterns.

Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, a best-selling author and a peak performance trainer. A self-made millionaire by the age of 26, he owns and runs several businesses in education, training, event management and advertising, all with a combined annual turnover of $20 million. His best-selling "Patterns of Excellence" is a complete step-by-step system that will literally program you for success in life.

• 1 Comments

  

Comments

Most sales experts call it mirroring. I've been doing this for years and it works. You just have to be careful how you do it. Done incorrectly and it comes across as insulting or manipulative.

If the focus is on rapport it won't come across wrong. What I try to do is to focus on connecting with my customer. Does he talk slower...slow down. Does he use "visual" words...do the same.

 Posted by: B Smith @ Wealth and Wisdom at May 28, 2008 3:33 PM

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