This article is contributed by Karen S. Sieczka

In the business world, it pays to listen and know how to ask the right questions. Miscommunication and misunderstanding can lead to problems… unhappy customers, lost sales, excess inventory, misunderstood instructions, shoddy work, and disgruntled employees … all influencing your company’s bottom line.

Face-to-face communication is still the foundation of many business relationships and good listening skills are an essential part of this communication. Listening skills can open doors and build working relationships. Use verbal cues, eye contact, and positive body language. Draw out information by asking open ended, non-judgmental questions. Reflect what the speaker is saying by restating and reinforcing what is said and asking for clarification if it is not clear. This reassures understanding for both parties. People feel more important when they perceive they are being heard.

A good listener can build trust, empathy, and understanding by practicing and improving listening skills. The ability to listen and actually hear what is being said is becoming rare as we spend more at our computers. Good listening makes for more open communications and prevents many problems before they start.

Here are some simple tips to improve your listening skills:

1. STOP: When someone talks to you, stop and give your full consideration. Focus. When you give your undivided attention, people feel they matter.

2. USE ACTIVE LISTENING: Show you are interested by your body language, using verbal cues, and making eye contact. Make sure your listening to talking ratio is 2:1; listen twice as much as you talk.

3. ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS: Draw out information by asking open ended questions such as: “Why do you think that is?”or ” That’s interesting. Can you tell me more?” Don’t just ask yes or no questions.

4. RESTATE AND REFLECT: Reflect what the speaker is saying by restating what was just said in your own words. Ask for clarification if you are not sure. This reassures understanding for both parties.

5. PRACTICE SKILLS BEFORE PROBLEMS ARISE: The time for improving listening skills is before there are problems. By building a foundation ahead of time, communications flow more freely during times of crisis.

Karen S. Sieczka is a training consultant and founder of Growing Great Ideas.com. Her latest training program is Growing Great Ideas: Unleashing Creativity at Work. The program generates ideas, enthusiasm, and teamwork and can be customized to address particular organizational issues or challenges. She is also writing a book Growing Great Ideas: Unleashing Creativity at Work. The book will be in print in September 2008.

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Here are 7 steps of communication, if applied, will allow you to develop your communication skills that can make you a master communicator. Communication can be likened to a step by step process of checking if you really understand another person from your point of view.

First, you need to listen and observe for the level of importance of this topic to the person you are speaking to and calibrate to that person's level of interest. Calibration is so important when communicating, that if you are unable to calibrate or identify whether or not that person is interested, you might just lose that person straight away.

Second, check congruence in communication. What do I mean by congruence? It means that if he says, "Yes." verbally, he shouldnot be shaking his head, "No." That is incongruence.

Number three is to identify incongruence in communication. We need to clarify meanings and terminologies used. This is for a simple fact that we need to understand what the other person means exactly.

Number four, we need to confirm those meanings. So, if someone said, "Oh! When you look at me, you appear to be extremely angry."What you need to do is to confirm, "Oh! How exactly do I look atyou that mean that I am angry?" The confirmation actually gets you the common understanding that both of you need that will propel your communication to the next level.

Number five, explore alternative meanings. What you are doing hereis eliciting a series of counter examples, to see whether thesemeanings fit in with the person's model of the world.

Number six, offers possibilities. If there are no alternatemeanings, what you might want to do is explore possibilities where one thing could mean something else. This is also known as reframing.

Number seven, summarize your personal experience in communicating with this other person, by starting off and saying, "My experience of you is" and so on. This way, both of you understand each other,and nothing is hidden from each other. It is perfectly honest and direct.

We say that communication is a two way process. This means that communication requires clarity to both parties. Until you understand what I am saying, or until I construct my communicationin a way that makes you understand me, we need to ask questionseven more effectively to reach our win-win outcome. These 7 steps are useful and can be applied anytime we are communicating with another person.

Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, a best-selling author and a peak performance trainer. A self-made millionaire by the age of 26, he owns and runs several businesses in education, training, event management and advertising, all with a combined annual turnover of $20 million. His best-selling "Patterns of Excellence" is a complete step-by-step system that will literally program you for success in life.

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Our friend at YoungEntrepreneur.com, Evan Carmichael, alerted us to a really insightful post written by Andy Marken for his weekly Entrepreneur University feature. It's about whether or not businesses should start a blog and if you decide to, what are the things to look out for that will help turn your blog into a success. The key learnings points we took away from the article:

1. Blogs are ideal for CEOs because the focus is on a topic you are passionate about. The blog allows the executive to address business issues and concerns, explain them and expand on key industry/company points.

2. Use shorter, more frequent blog entries rather than long white papers or position statements. As you study blogs around the web you will see that the best and most popular sites are a short paragraph or two and sometimes only a sentence. The goal is to show you are knowledgeable about the subject and to make one specific point. Some of the best executive blogs only have a sentence or two with a link directing readers to a relevant article in a respected business, trade or consumer publication.

3. The best business blogs reflect the viewpoint and voice of the executive, not lawyer talk or PR bullet dodging. This can be a tightrope because you want to be as honest and forthright as possible but you also have to write with the understanding that you are creating a very public presence of your information.

Learn more about whether you should start a blog right now at YoungEntrepreneur.com's article: Should You Start A Blog? - Entrepreneur University.

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A creative ad by Mini Cooper placed at the Zurich , Switzerland train station, shows people climbing into or out of the car, when they are actually entering or exiting stairs. That’s persuasion at its best! More examples below.

I just listened to an mp3 interview with Paul Endress, persuasion extraordinaire and found some of his persuasion techniques insightful. He is also the man behind the persuasion article written for The Toastmaster (May 2008 edition). If you want to listen to the full version of the tutorial, click here. If you are in a hurry, you can first check out my notes below.

While research shows that most people believe they can’t be sold, the fact is those same people can indeed be persuaded if they don’t recognize that a sales tecnique is being used.

The trick lies in the different persuasive strategies used then and now. Lets use a car salesman this time since they top the list as the people you absolutely cannot trust in a poll.

Then: They go on downloading information in you, telling you EVERYTHING you need to know AND don’t need to know.
Basically, its like taking a shotgun with pellets in it, hoping that one of them will hit the target. This doesn’t work anymore!

Now: Being subtle.

The following are strategies for you to adopt as you attempt to persuade your audience, be it one or many.

1. Aiming at the Target

Have you been in a situation where a salesman or saleswoman was trying to sell you something by giving you the 4-1-1 of what he or she is selling while you absolutely couldn’t wait to get away from the guy? That he or she was boring you nuts with all the information?

You felt like running away as soon as he turns his head because he never found out what was IMPORTANT to YOU.

Ask a simple question : “What’s most important to you when you buy a car? ”

“What’s most important to you when you enroll your kids to a programme? ”

“What most important to you when you look for a life partn…( ok you get it by now don’t you? ) ”

This simple question is what gets you the most answers. So for example, if I’m going to go buy a car, what’s important to me is the price.

So if you’re going to sell me a car, you should immediately address my pricing concerns and not go rambling on how energy-efficient and how many awards the car has won. This saves your breath and of course, time spent.

2. Never start your questions with ” WHY? “

Not only is it annoying but you get only excuses.

Lets use an example: If your kid comes back from school with his report card dominated with D’s and E’s and (God Forbid, F’s ), You’ll probably be in a rage and ask ..”WHY did you get D’s and E’s ?? ”

And the answer (or rather, excuse) that you’re going to get is:

“My teacher ate my test paper.”
“My teacher doesn’t really like me.”
“The kids bully me if I get A’s.”

So how can you ask the same question but get solutions instead?

Start your questions with “What” or “How”

These 2 words empowers action in people. You’re still asking the same question, but you shift its mode and then you start to get changes!

3. Use STORIES to convey your message.

Its important to highlight before I continue with how we can use stories that people tend to be too obvious when they use their stories. As a result, they shift back into a sales mode.

Most people cannot come up with a story on the fly. Even Paul suggested practice and fine-tuning our stories to ensure an impactful message and one that really sinks into the human psyche. Remember? Stories, like humour is a process. Your stories are not going to come out fantastic the first time you tell them. Hence, you must be willing to let your stories develop over time.

I suspect, if I let my enthusiasm and excitement get the better of me, you’ll never reach the end of this entry…awake.

That’s why I’m leaving you wanting for more (which happens to be another strategy in persuasion that I shall cover in my next entry)

Promise that my next entry will be shorter..by a bit at least *grins*

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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Inspired by Andrew Dlugan’s recent post “Stop Rehearsing! 3 Critical Things to Do Before Your Speech“, I will like to add to his list 7 more things you can do before your speech to take the nervousness out of you.

First, let’s do a quick recap of his three excellent pointers.

1. Study the venue logistics
2. Meet your audience (extra tip: build before rapport)
3. Watch, listen and participate in the event agenda

The rationale for #1 and #2 is straightforward - to reduce uncertainty, which is usually the main cause of a speaker’s nervousness. #3 is an extremely powerful strategy that is used by all professional speakers. And I strongly recommend you to do the same if you want to create impact in your presentation. Check out how Darren La Croix, 2001 World Champion of Public Speaking does it!

OK here’s my other 7.

4. Practice aloud your 30 seconds introduction

The first 30 seconds of any presentation is the most crucial because the audience is the most skeptical, and you the speaker is the most nervous. By making sure you have memorized your introduction, you will be less likely to fumble at the start. It helps to practice aloud too so that you know how you sound like. I will usually incorporate hand gestures too. By getting your entire body involved, your mind will be conditioned to think that you are doing the actual speech. And when you are on stage, you will feel like you have done in umpteen times. This has great effect in boosting your confidence.

5. Listening to music of your choice

Music is therapeutic and has a soothing effect on even the most nervous speaker. Here’s something you can try: create a personal playlist of music that works for you. It could be music that calms your nerves or music that perks you up. For some people, it is jazz. For some, it is loud heavy metal. Well to each its own. For me, instrumental music (especially piano recitals) works best (a.k.a Kevin Kern or SENS). What I usually do is to start listening to the music as I travel down to the speaking venue. And once I am there, I will usually start setting up and if possible, I will even play the playlist using their sound system. If they don’t allow them, you still have your ipod.

6. Do something that gets you in the mood

OK I know.. this sounds vague. Let me give you an example. I always get nervous before a contest. And sometimes it can get really bad. But what calms me down is watching some of my idols do their thing on stage. That includes comedians like Dane Cook and Russell Peters. Their cool demeanor never fails to make me feel relaxed. And I like how they make their audience laugh at cue. And after watching 3 - 5 mins of their gig, I will feel all motivated to also do the same. I suspect the laughing also helps a lot. So yes, watch something light-hearted.

There was once when I delivered a speech on human connection and in order to help me get into the mood, I watched a youtube video titled free hugs, which was what inspired me to deliver the speech in the first place.

So as you can tell, the form doesn’t matter, as long as you do something to get you into the mood.

7. Clear out the trash

This is a phrase I borrowed from this underground cult movie “The Peaceful Warrior”. Trash in this case is the clutter and voices in your head. Usually the black dogs. Here are some familiar ones:

You will never be good enough. You don’t deserve to win. They are going to walk out on me… just like the last time. Aww.. you are trying to do your thing again. Don’t you remember how you failed the last time? Why did I even agree to do this presentation… I am going to screw it up. You are going to get too nervous and muck it all up! I don’t have anything worthwhile to say, I am wasting their valuable time. I am going to forget something important and look like a fool.

Most speakers empower these conversations by listening to them and believing in them. That’s why they look distracted and nervous on stage. The trick is to throw out these trash BEFORE your speech. Let me share with you one very effective way of doing so.

WRITE DOWN EVERY VOICE / CONVERSATION YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEAD.

Yes, it is that simple. All you need to do is just offload. Empty out all the voices in your head so that you can focus on delivering the presentation. What I like to do is to hand write it on a piece of A4 paper. Once I am done, I will crush the paper and dump it into the trashcan. The whole act itself is extremely liberating and really helps to keep you focused.

8. Do voice exercises

When you are nervous, your muscles tense up, including your throat. And if you don’t warm up, you will sound like a strangled frog on stage. Not a beautiful sight.

Voice exercises do not have to be complicated. Singing the scale works. Doing funny faces in private works too. Let me share with you a tried and tested procedure from a book titled “Preparing for Peak Performance”.

i. Massage your face. Loosen the jaw.
ii. Align your body, head, shoulders and spine; get grounded and breathe deeply
iii. Use sounds like “zzzzzzz”, “sssssss”, “haw” and “hoo”. Breathe deeply without lifting your shoulders
iv. Try some tongue twisters
v. Speak some key sentences from your presentation

If you have a microphone, I suggest you do a mike test too. So you know how you sound with a microphone. And of course to get used to holding and speaking from a mic.

9. Anchor yourself in a positive experience

Recall a positive experience where you did an excellent job on stage. Note your environment - what do you see, smell and hear? Be as specific as you can. The important thing is to re-experience the emotions - the excitement, relief, joy, happiness, pride etc. You can even pick a non-speaking experience like clinching a $100K business deal or a successful day out with your family. Any experience/memory that helps you re-experience the positive emotions.

As you are waiting to be called, close your eyes and relive your experience. Soak up all the emotions and then slowly open your eyes. Tell yourself that YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN. And then go do your thing!

10. Breathe deeply

If you recalled my first encounter with public speaking, you will remember how my best friend advised me to take 50 deep breaths to calm my nerves. And by the time I hit 20, I was hyperventilating. (grins)

Breathing deeply does help though… coz it helps your muscles relax. However you don’t have to do it 50 times. Sometimes doing it once is sufficient. The whole point is to help your body relax.

(Bonus) Ask yourself this question…

“Why am I delivering this speech in the first place?”

Remind yourself the value of your speech - how will your audience benefit from listening to you. Why is it so important for them to hear your message. In short, focus on your audience. That will also take the heat off you and allow you to put up a good show, because it is for a “higher purpose”.

Now go break a leg!

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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How do you attract positive attention and draw a sizeable crowd to you?

This is a question I ask myself when I did my first book talk in KL. Unfortunately, I could not find any credible or relevant information that answers this burning question of mine. In times like this, I improvise.

The good news is some work and I will like to share them with you.

Here are the workable ones that have been refined after three book talks.

1. A crowd attracts a bigger crowd… hire groupies if you need to

People are naturally curious. So if they see a crowd (about 5-10) standing, with their full attention on you, they will check it out.

Most of these people will stay for about 30 seconds to assess if your talk is relevant or interesting enough for them to drop their agenda. If you want to play safe, I encourage you to “hire” a crowd. Gather some of your friends and fans. Make sure they report on time. Get them to rally together. Each time someone passes by or stops, have them give a warm smile to the person and invite him/her to join in. This has proven to work wonderfully well!

2. Location, location, location!

Pick a place where you have a lot of open space. This way, you are highly visible.

When we were in KL, the first day turned out was much better than the second day even though the second bookstore was a bigger one. Here’s why. In the picture above, you notice we were right smack in the middle of the bookstore. Judging from the density of the crowd, most of them walks in from the right (of me). I even have a friend who will stop these people and invite them to sit in.

However on the second day, we have this really HUGE waterfall blocking us (to the left of the picture).

Hence we only have a crowd on the far right and we miss about 50% of the people in the bookstore. Plus, the talk was held in the quadrangle which creates an invisible barrier. People who are not in the quadrangle will think it is a scheduled talk and avoid it. This is why the crowd size did not increase significantly compared to the first day.

3. Let ‘em do the talking

Make sure you have a lot of activities that get your audience talking and mingling. Firstly, this creates buzz which attracts people. Secondly, it allows the audience to interact with one another which makes the whole environment friendlier. So what you get is a friendly buzz that naturally draws people in.

Getting my listeners up to talk works like magic. It’s usually normal to see someone in suit talking since people will assume he has been hired. However to see a shopper speak, now that is something you don’t see everyday. So in your talk, find as many opportunities as you can to have pockets of your listeners up on stage or make sure you have a lot of activities where they get to interact with one another.

4. Use the “S” word

The word SECRET and SUCCESS seems to have an effect on the audience. Each time I say something along the line of “Let me tell you a secret…” or “Here are three tips on how to be successful…”, you will hear a pin drop. Everyone will keep really quiet. Even the kids. Passer bys will deliberately slow down so that they can eavesdrop into the million dollar secret that you were about to share.

The lesson is simple - make it exclusive.

5. If need be, pay them to laugh at all your jokes and clap at opportune times

Laughter and applause are your two best weapons in drawing crowds. In a short 60 minutes, I have about 8 stories planted in my talk. And each of them are intentionally funny. Some even require audience participation. For example the analogy about swimming and public speaking.

So if you are going to give a talk to an open crowd, make sure your speech has about 80% stories, 20% tips. Stories are naturally engaging so it becomes your magnet in pulling a crowd. After you finish your story, land them with a power point or a valuable message, that will keep them staying. Repeat the formula and you will have 10 soccer teams eating out of your hands in no time.

Here are other miscellaneous pointers on drawing an attentive crowd.

Don’t just address the crowd. Make sure you talk to passer-bys too. Catch their eye and speak to them as if they are meant to be listening to you. I guarantee you that they will stop and listen, at least until they find you boring or irrelevant to their needs.

Have a whiteboard with big words on it. Mind maps work well too. When passer by walks past, they will be curious enough to check out what you have written and since it is hard to walk and read at the same time, they will linger for a while.

Final note: Even if you have just one listener, hide your disappointment. It’s ok. Really. On the bright side, you won’t be suffering from aerobic effects of public speaking… and if you keep at it, you will start to draw a crowd. Why? Coz’ people are curious. They will be wondering why are you speaking to only one person. Why is that one person so focused on you? Is there something that they are missing out on? And before you know it, you have ten, twenty people clamoring for your attention.

Final final note… I am going to assume here that you have SOLID content that (1) resolves your audience’s top three frustrations or challenges and (2) bring them one step closer to their wants and desires.

Good luck with your next public appearance!

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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“I hear, I forget. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.”

If you want your presentation to be memorable even after 90 days, I strongly encourage you to INVOLVE YOUR AUDIENCE…. through DOING. Couple of ideas for you to try out.

1. After teaching a concept, get your audience to split into groups. In their groups, discuss a scenario where they can APPLY the concept. Once that is done, have them send a representative to share what was discussed.

2. Before you wrap up a presentation, get your audience to WRITE down five things that they are doing to different based on what you have shared with them. Even better, get them to do one on the spot.

3. Create handouts for your audience and as you deliver your speech, have them FILL UP the blanks with key points or phrases that you want them to remember.

4. If you are going to show them a video, have them JOT DOWN three things they discover which relates to your speech topic.

5. At the end of your speech, get your audience to buddy up and CRYSTALLIZE five things that they have learnt in your speech that will make a difference to their work or life.

And the list goes on.

Bottomline - get your audience into action.

Now here’s one thing I want you to do:

Think back to your last speech/presentation, what could be ONE action that you can get your audience to participate which will help reinforce your points or message?

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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Eric Feng, one of our Network Experts, together with his two Public Speaking Experts recently appeared on Prime Time Morning (Channel News Asia) to share more about Public Speaking experiences and tips.

Kelvin, Irene and Eric (authors of The FAQ Book on Public Speaking) were invited to share about the book. They ended up dishing tip after tip to the hosts and audience. One of the funnier discussions were about the myth that speakers should imagine their audience naked.

The main rationale behind this myth is to put down your audience so that you feel more powerful than them. There are some who believe that this makeshift power will give them the courage to speak in front of their “naked” audience. However, if you have tried it, you will know how hard it is to imagine your audience naked.

Firstly you will be more distracted. Secondly, it doesn’t serve you. When you intentionally position yourself in power at your audience expense, you are sending out signals to your audience that you disregard them and that doesn’t exactly make you very popular with your audience.

Here's the short video clip and pay attention to the tips:

For those who want to get the hard copy of The FAQ Book on Public Speaking, you can buy it at any major bookstores in your vincinity like Popular, Kino, Borders, Harris, MPH and Page One.

For those of you who are not from Singapore, you can grab the electronic version of The FAQ Book on Public Speaking here. If you really love to have a hardcopy version, you can drop Eric an email: eric@ericfeng.com. Else, grab the ebook first!

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In no particular order….. since all are equally bad…

Blooper #1: Not telling us why we should listen to you

Never assume that just because you have an audience, we are obliged to listen to you. We may love you (that’s why we came in the first place) but never take advantage of the trust we have for you. It is an extreme turn-off when the audience has to do the work i.e. figure out how your presentation is relevant to us. We are a bunch of selfish egomaniacs. We love ourselves so much! And we don’t care about your experiences unless it teaches us something that we can use for ourselves. So here’s a word of advice: If you want to share your experiences, please do. But always include a message, something that will benefit us, your beloved audience!

Blooper #2: Ignoring us throughout your speech

We get bored easily. Period. If you keep talking about you, you, you, you, you… we will switch off. We want to be part of your speech. We really do. Get us involved. It could be as simple as asking us a question. It gives us a chance to hear ourselves talk. It could be as simple as playing a mini game with us. It gets us up on our seat. Please entertain us! Make us love you. We really want to because if you keep ignoring our needs, we will do the same. Lucky for the speaker, he allowed us to ask questions at any point in his presentation and guess what, we did! In my opinion, that was his saving grace!

Blooper #3: Going overtime

No matter how good you are, never ever go over time!!! Unless we paid you thousands of dollars to teach us something and you are about to share with us the ultimate secret to earning another ten million. If you want your audience to love you, end earlier than expected! It tells us that you respect our time. It makes you special because most speakers don’t observe that. And guess what, the next time you give your presentation; we will be there to support you!

Blooper #4: Spelling errors on your slides

Imagine sitting in a formal business presentation with a presentation slide like this:

In the gamming industry…
Microfsoft
Upluft and Profit
Generated an annual revenue of $1.000000 dollars (huh???!!!)
Curent Maket size of 30 billion people

Ok, you get my point. When you have these glaring spelling mistakes in your slides, here’s the image you are portraying to your audience: sloppy and cannot be bothered. Unless that’s what you want the audience to think of you, I suggest you get someone to do a spell check.

Blooper #5: Bad pronunciation of words

It cracks me up when some presenters stumble upon the same word every single time, without any sign of remorse. There was one time I sat through a presentation where the team had to review a company’s product named Morange. And throughout the ten minutes presentation, they came up with oh so many ways to pronounce this word.

Moo-ronge
Ma-range
Ma-rangi
Mo-ran
Moo-rock

And I swear one time I heard Moron. They might as well labelled the product Moronic Morange. That would be… memorable. Some “credit” has to be given to the company who named their product mo-range.

Blooper #6: Reading off the script

Although my preference is to go without a script, sometimes there is a need for it. However more often than not, speakers are too reliant on their script. You see them referring to their script even if it is just reading their name and designation??!! Yes, this is very puzzling. I once came across a book that taught me how to read from a script. Here’s the golden rule. Never ever speak when your eyes are on your script. Instead, you should follow this three-step process: see, stop, say.

First, look down and take a snapshot of your script. Memorize a chunk of words. Bring your head up and then pause for a second. When you are ready, say what you have memorized in your own words. It’s a three-step process: see, stop and say. It is very important that you pause. Yes, it may be weird for you but in reality, the pause helps make your speech conversational. It also creates anticipation, which further deepen the impact.

Blooper #7: Starting your presentation weak

Maybe it is just me but I get really pissed off when a speaker starts off his presentation with “Urm.. I guess I should probably start… ah ok, here goes…”. Or even worse “I am not really prepared for this presentation because (give some lame excuse). But anyway, I will start…” Trust me, giving excuses of why you may not do a good job will hardly win the sympathy of your audience. Instead, you will make us feel that we are unworthy of your time. You will be better off not giving the presentation since no one will be listening anyway.

As the saying goes, you will not get a second chance to make a good first impression. So make full use of your first 30 seconds to impress your audience. Here are a couple of ways you can start a presentation powerfully. You can tell a personal story and relate it back to the message of your presentation. Starting your presentation with a visual stimulating or humorous video clip will also create impact. Or begin with a thought provoking quote or a shocking statistic, which will create the listening for your presentation. All these are far more superior to your usual good morning/afternoon/evening niceties or worse, apologies.

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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We are all experts at playing the role of the audience, thanks to the countless presentations that we have sit through. Quite frankly, we have seen it all! I thought it would be interesting to give you my list of ten things a presenter can do to piss me off. See if this tallies with yours!

Starting from the bottom…

10. Using clip art animation (at times, this makes me laugh… but not in the good way)
9. Starting weak: “I guess I should probably get started…. uh…ok here goes…”
8. Giving us zero eye contact
7. Reading off the slides
6. Having slides with heap full of words (and MORE words!)
5. Having NO message (Variation: Failing to make a point and leaving us confused)
4. Mumbling throughtout the entire speech
3. Apologizing to the audience right at the start:“I’m not exactly sure what I want to say but I will try…”
2. Ending late - it’s obvious you don’t respect our time!

And the number one thing you can do to piss me off the roof is this…

1. Be totally unprepared - it shows how much you value us!

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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Using humor in a speech or presentation can help to add an air of authority to your content because everyone loves to laugh! One of the ways to use humour in a speech is to incorporate a joke that is relevant to your content.

Now, in order for that joke to work you need to edit it down and interpret in your own way. Don't feel that you're not qualified to do this. You are don't worry. As long as you can speak and paraphrase you're going to be fine at editing a joke. I understand that it may be difficult to understand the process of editing a joke, but I'm going to do my best.

The point of this article is not to turn you into a comedian. It's to help you spice up your content with humor so that you can connect with your audience and have them feel confident with your ability as a speaker or presenter.

Firstly, make sure you're on your own. Like... sitting in front of your computer. Okay, take your joke and say it out loud. You will probably stumble over the words because jokes that you find in books or on the internet have extraneous words because they help with the reading of the jokes. But these words aren't necessary for the actual spoken delivery of the line.

Most jokes have a small story element to them and so that's what is included. For example they will contain words like: "One day..." or "...and says". Those are structures that we are used to and that help us when we are reading the joke. But they are not at all helpful when you have to deliver that joke.

So read the joke out loud a few times to familiarize yourself with it. Then put it to one side and repeat it a few more times. Just give yourself a bit of "rehearsal" with it. What will begin to happen slowly is that you'll forget bits of the joke and, as a result, paraphrase the joke into your own words.

You'll naturally make shortcuts. Believe me, this is not a bad thing. This is exactly what you want to happen. As you do this try to cut out the storytelling elements. Try to get straight to the meat of the joke. For instance if the joke begins: "one day a CEO turns to one of his employees and says sternly..." You can edit the joke so that it reads: "A CEO turns to an employee and says..."

You cut the word sternly because you should say what the CEO says to the employee in a stern manner. You don't need to tell your listeners how the CEO is speaking because you pretend to be the CEO. So that's 6 words that have been cut and 1 word that has been added.

It's also better to keep the joke in the present tense. Even if it's happened in the past. You'll say something like "last year..." then the tense will immediately change as if it's happening right now. That street joke has got to unfold in front of your audience like it's happening in the here and now. It makes it more immediate for the listener.

How do you know what will make the joke work? Well, the punchline is pretty damned important. The set-up is important as well, but that can usually do with a bit of trimming. The punchlines are the bit at the end that gets the laugh. Sorry if I'm stating the obvious for some of you, I just want to make sure we're all on the same page.

I'm going to refer to a joke that I'm sure we all know: "why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side". The punchline in this case is "to get to the other side" so this is important to keep because that's the line that will generate the laugh.

That said, the set up line is also very important because if you just said the line "to get to the other side" you will get a lot of blank stares. So you need: "why did the chicken cross the road?". But what you have to be careful of is to make sure that all the important details are there. The chicken is important as is what the chicken is doing.

Remember that editing and delivering a joke are fused together at the hip. You need to practice the joke out loud again and again so you are familiar with it and it flows naturally.

You should also make sure that you personalize the joke if you can. Don't make it any CEO if you can safely make it your CEO. But obviously you have to be careful that you don't offend anybody and risk losing your job. The best thing to do is to make yourself the butt of your jokes. By laughing at yourself you are more likely to win the audience over to your side.

So to re-cap: Find a joke that is relevant to your theme or topic in a broad way. If you cannot find jokes specifically about the Human Resources Department, maybe there are jokes on a broader scale. Exactly what point are you making about H.R.? That they're really organized? That they're incompetent?

Then you need to say your joke over and over again out loud so that you become familiar with it. By doing this you will naturally edit bits of the joke out that don't work for you because you will forget bits. Next go through the joke with a fine-toothed comb edit out any story elements. Finally, make the joke personal and in the present tense.



Jason Peck is a Humorist, Speaker and Consultant based in London, England. For public speaking tips and to learn how to add humor to your speeches and presentations to win over your listeners visit: Pro Humorist.

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If you are able to use humor in a speech or presentation you will automatically be able to make your audience listen to you and assert your authority. Making people laugh is a definite attention-getter.

The thing to be aware of is using humor appropriately in your speech or presentation. There are two ways to use humor: the first is to react to material that you already have written using your own sense of humor. The second way is to add appropriate jokes, quotes and stories that relate to your speech topic.

Whichever method you use you need to run through the following checklist before you speak:

1) Is it funny?

If you find a line genuinely funny then it will make things a lot easier when you come to deliver the humor to your listeners. The thing to be aware of though is that not every line will make you fall down with laughter. If you have trouble in this area it might be worth researching a quip or humorous line from another speaker or comedian and quoting them in your speech. You cannot pass the line off as your own. If you have to give them credit! You could phrase it as follows: "...and as the comedian Jerry Seinfeld said..."

2) Can you say the line comfortably?

If you find a joke that fits in with the material rehearse the line out loud and edit it so that you're comfortable saying the joke. Make elisions if necessary turning "you are" into "you're" and so on. Make sure you don't leave out the punchline though, that bit is crucial.

3) Will you offend anybody?

This following may sound stuffy, but the best thing to do is avoid the following areas because not everybody can appreciate humorous lines in these areas. Avoid jokes on: religion, sex, physical appearance, politics and disabilities. Granted someone who is Jewish can deliver Jewish jokes, but even then not everyone in the audience might be Jewish so you could come across as racist. The best thing to do is poke fun at yourself. If in doubt, leave it out!

4) Will you be understood?

If you're speaking to a room full of unfamiliar faces then you have to make sure that jokes that are specific to your job or company might not go over. In that situation make sure that there are no in-jokes, or lines based in specifics of your job title.

If the humorous lines that you find are able to pass these four checks then you are well on your way to having an engaging and memorable speech!



Jason Peck is a Humorist, Speaker and Consultant based in London, England. For public speaking tips and to learn how to add humor to your speeches and presentations to win over your listeners visit: Pro Humorist.

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Some pointers to take note as you prepare for a technical presentation.

1. Pictures Tell A Thousand Words

Literally. I casually googled for “social networking” (SN) and found a site that explains quite succintly what SN means. Here goes:

Based on the six degrees of separation concept (the idea that any two people on the planet could make contact through a chain of no more than five intermediaries), social networking establishes interconnected Internet communities (sometimes known as personal networks) that help people make contacts that would be good for them to know, but that they would be unlikely to have met otherwise…[more]

That’s about 1000 words? Even if it is spoken word for word, I bet the audience will not fully understand, especially since it was written for the eye and not for the ear. Like any amateurish presenter, he will attempt to organize the points in bullet points, thinking that it will make it easier for them to understand. All he does is confuse them even more. Not a very smart thing to do.

Not very helpful, isn’t it?

Like the video, the presenter incorporates a lot of visuals which makes it easier for us to comprehend the extensiveness of human network and how we can leverage on them using the social networking sites like Friendster. Similarly in your technical presentation, you want to ensure that you use a generous portion of visuals to explain the process, procedure or product.
It is much easier to walk them through a software rather than attempting to explain the functionalities. It is much easier to show them how information flows in your organization through a flow-chart than a bunch of words. It is much easier to show them the exact product rather than describing the features. By engaging your audience through both the visual and audio channels, you make the learning process effective and effortless.

2. Relate To The Common Experience

I like how the video started by demonstrating how network get things done through common experience. For example, sending a letter, lighting a house or flying a passenger from Chicago to Santa Fe. We immediately get how a network functions. He then brought in another situation - finding a job.

He drew the number of hops you have to go through before finding someone who can offer you the job. And cleverly he slips in the problem - do you know who your friend (Bob) knows? The next one minute was used to explain how social networking sites eliminate the problem. In this case, he makes use of a current problem we have to explain something seemingly complex.

“Like the map for the highway, they (social networking sites) show you the people network that help you get to the next destination faster - a love partner or a great place to live in.”

Likewise in your technical presentation, use everyday examples to explain complicated concepts. I remember evaluating this gentleman’s presentation on “What’s In A Computer?” If not for my technical background, I will not have understand the jargons he used or the way the RAM powers the processing speed of a computer. So you can imagine that if he was presenting to a room full of aunties or non-techies, he will lose them in double quick time.

Instead of stating that the CPU is the central processing unit where all the circuit boards are housed, and is in charge of executing all the commands given by the user, try comparing the CPU with our human brain. The nerve network in our brain is like the circuitry in the CPU. The signals they carry to the brain are similar to the current in the circuit. Both acts as the command center where instructions/commands are executed.

Instead of describing the RAM as a type of data storage used in computers, you can relate to RAM as human memory. Both share properties like capacity and speed of retrieval. A computer with higher RAM can store more information (say 10,000 songs) and retrieve information in a very short amount of time (in a blink of an eye). Again, we understand the examples immediately, which allows us to grasp this once elusive concept call RAM.

In order to apply this technique effectively, you got to first know your product or concept inside out. Pick out the features that you want to explain and then map it to common functionalities that we can all relate to. Earlier in the afternoon, I was asked to answer this question - “What’s coaching?” and here’s how I answered using the technique above.

3. What’s In It For Me?

Unlike your usual presentations, it is critical to start your technical presentation by first answering this question - “What’s in it for me?” or variations like “Why is this presentation important and relevant to me?” Technical presentations are informative in nature. They are dry (and boring) too which means that unless you give them an incentive to listen to you, they won’t bother trying. As such, you got to ensure you capture your audience attention right from the start.

You can highlight how this presentation relates to them or introduce the pressing problem your audience is facing right now and then explain how your product resolves it. Bottom line, you got to make your presentation relevant and important to them. As homework, go study your audience’s needs. Find out who they are, what they do and problems they face daily. Armed with this data, you can then position your presentation to answer their needs or problems. For example, if you are demonstrating a security software for mobile phones, you could start your experience by doing a quick poll - how many of you have lost your phones or PDAs before?
You then move on to talk about the inconvenience and high costs involved in losing phone. By poking at your audience’s pain, you have effectively unbalance them. If you share their pains of losing a phone, your audience would automatically see you as one of them, which means a home run for you!

Studying the audience also allows you to know the level of their expertise. You tell them something too complicated and you lose them. You tell them something too simple, you risk insulting them, and you lose them too. Hence it pays to do a careful analysis of your audience. A good practice is to test out your presentation on a few of your trusted colleagues who share similar level of expertise with your audience. Listen intently for their feedback and then make necessary adjustments.

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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I recently re-read a great book on public speaking and I was reminded of a technique which was one of the first I ever used! I'll give you a brief background on the book, and the technique itself, before I tell you about my experience with it.

The book was called "Just Say A Few Words" and it was by the late British Comedian and After Dinner Speaker Bob Monkhouse. Bob was a great comedian whose style were one-liner jokes similar in style to his hero Bob Hope. According to his book, Monkhouse was at an after dinner event in the 1960s alongside fellow British comedian Tony Hancock.

As the story goes Hancock never really enjoyed public speaking. He was in fact more of a comic actor than a comedian. He had brilliant script writers on his radio and TV shows and was more comfortable speaking the words of others.

According to Monkhouse they were both to speak at a charity function at London's prestigious Savoy Hotel. Speaking before Hancock was a white-haired old priest, who nobody gave a second thought to. Apparently, however, he gave an extremely witty and hilarious speech making the audience roar with laughter.

Then came the deadpan Hancock. After the applause for Hancock had died down he waved his speech notes in his hand and said:

"Just before we came to dinner, Father Terry and I met in the gents and you all know what a lad he is for a joke, my goodness me yes. He said to me, "wouldn't it be funny if we exchanged speeches and I did yours and you did mine?" So we did, and you've just heard mine. This is his and I'm not going to do this load of rubbish - good evening!"

Therefore, Hancock managed to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation whereby he felt his speech might not have been able to top that and be funnier than an unknown priest.

I used this technique myself the second time I ever performed stand-up comedy. I was a 19 year old open-mike new comedian at the time and, for reasons beyond me, I was put on after an extremely experienced feature comic who regularly played all the big London clubs and got paid for the privilege. I sat there in the audience in horror as he made the audience scream with laughter. I was terrified because I knew I had to follow him.

I bounded onto the stage trying to be confident in my own abilities that I could follow such a pro. My world was suddenly blown apart as punchline after punchline failed; I was being heckled ruthlessly and I headed rapidly towards "comedy death".

It was then I heard the words no dying young comedian wants to hear from a heckler: "got any material?" My heart sank. I'd been slaving over that script and those jokes for months. I'd rehearsed again and again and knew my carefully crafted material backwards. And here I was being asked by a drunken heckler if I actually had any material.

But, from the depths of my being, I managed to pull out a version of The Hancock Manoeuvre before I had even realised what I was saying. My immediate response was: "actually yeah. I spoke to comic who was just on before the show and we agreed to swap material. He did my act and was hilarious and I'm doing his and it's a load of rubbish. Thank you very much, good night!"

I left the stage to a round of applause. More so than just a polite clap. I also received a huge compliment from the comic who had gone on before me.

So next time you are in a tight spot and the speaker before you does an absolutely amazing job, have a think to yourself "can I equal if not better his speech? or shall I invoke The Hancock Manoeuvre?" But remember this technique should only be used as a last resort.



Jason Peck is a Humorist, Speaker and Consultant based in London, England. For public speaking tips and to learn how to add humor to your speeches and presentations to win over your listeners visit: Pro Humorist.

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I got your attention, didn't I? You must be wondering.. what is it I need to know, more than anything else. And the more I digress, the more you want to know. You may be thinking right now whether I am dangling a carrot right in front of you. Yes, you are absolutely right. Question is, why are you still reading this since there’s every possibility I may just be playing a fool with you. Well, let’s just say that you have no choice. You have come thus far and you seriously need to know what is that something that now, more than ever, you need to know. Give you a clue. It is a secret that a lot of top-notch speakers adopt to have their audience eating from their hands. It is a persuasion technique that has been subtlely added in the sales pitch, without you knowing. It is a formula that once you understand will serve you well.

In James C. Hume’s bestseller “Speak Like Churchchill, Stand Like Lincoln”, he termed this secret, technique and formula as the Power Button.

In an essay, you can easily draw attention to phrases or words by highlighting it, increasing its font size or italicizing it. But how do you do that in a speech? Well, you can raise your voice or switch the tone of your voice. However, I have seen skilful speakers adopting the Power Button Strategy to have you eating from their hands. It preps you up for the line to follow, usually an important line that the speaker wants you to remember.

For example, LET ME AGAIN SAY WHAT I ALWAYS TELL THOSE CRITICS OF AMERICA [pause]… we will…

Or THE SECRET OF HOTEL MANAGEMENT IS SIMPLE. IT CAN BE SUMMED UP THIS WAY [pause]… our customers must always come first.

The line in caplocks is the power button. Once you hit the power button, you effectively get the attention of your audience. They are going to pay attention to what you have to say next. However, a power button only works when the proceeding sentence is an important one. It could be your message or key idea. The zinger line that you want to use to burn a hole in your listeners’ ears.

You can think of the power button as a preamble to what’s important. It can be as simple as “WhAT I AM GOING TO SHARE WITH YOU NEXT IS GOING TO WORTH ALL YOUR TIME SITTING HERE…” Remember to insert a pause before you tell them the zinger line.

That’s right. The power button preps your audience for something impactful or important to come. The pause creates the suspense. And of course the zinger line blows your audience away.

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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A post that I wrote earlier on “250 Things You Wish You Know That Will Guarantee Your Speaking Success” has created quite a buzz on the blogsphere. It started with Andrew Dlugin at Six Minutes who wrote a fairly long post challenging many points that I have raised. And then yesterday, Life Hacker picked up the article (thanks Kevin!) and bang! Traffic at The Public Speaking Blog quadrupled overnight with 829 new visitors (hello!) and the “250 speaking tips” entry was posted on 14 other blogs.

Understandably, not everyone agrees with my list of 250. Some like it and call them “gems” or “speech-prep zen”, others hate it and call them “hasty and forceful”. Well to each his own.

What I am really happy about is the conversations that were created out of this contentious list. At the very least, it makes people aware about how they can raise their speaking standards by a few notches if they pay attention to the tips.

To make the list palatable for you, I have filtered it down from 250 to 50. Yes, it’s Pareto Principle at work here. Focus on the 20% that delivers 80% of the results. Prepare your forks and knives… let’s dig in.

1. Audience always comes first, ask yourself “How can they benefit from listening to me?”
2. Most people seek validation and not education - don’t be like most people.
3. Tell a story, make a point.
4. Create a story bank. Each time something interesting happens - big or small - write it down. You never know where you can use it.
5. Follow the 80/20 rule - 80% prepared. 20% impromptu. Being prepared is extremely important but when you are too prepared, you take the fun out of a speech. The 20% spontaneity allows you to milk any situations that arises while you deliver your speech.
6. A powerful speech is one that can help solve your audience’s problems.
7. The best way to learn is to teach somebody else. Find opportunities to do that. Offer pointers. Offer coaching. Offer suggestions. Remember, you can’t give away what you don’t have. Once you teach somebody else what you learned, it reinforces and improves your speaking skills.
8. Don’t try to impress. Instead try to, share, help, inspire, teach, inform, guide, persuade, motivate… or make the world a little bit better.
9. Stay present in the moment. Forget about the conversations running in your head. Be with your audience. Enjoy the time you have with them.
10. Keep your presentation simple. One message, three points and a kick-ass call for action.
11. Remember, the greatest enemy of speakers is same-ness. (Thanks Patricia Fripp for the tip!)
12. Don’t memorize your entire speech. Internalize. (Thanks David Brooks for the tip!)
13. Never, ever go overtime.
14. Avoid abstractions. Always relate to a common experience.
15. A fail-safe question to answer in your speech - What’s in it for me (the audience)?
16. No pain, no action. If you want to get your audience into action, you need to first understand where their pains are. Once you have identified that particular pain, poke at it. Recreate the scenario so that they can re-experience the pain, both physically and emotionally. When you have successfully brought your audience to that state, they will be begging you to offer them a remedy or a quick solution to rid them of the pain.
17. The key to grabbing attention is surprise. The key to keeping attention is interest.
18. Smile. Smile when you are walking up to the stage. Smile when you make a mistake. Smile when your audience laugh at your story. Smile when you are delivering your message. Smile when you conclude. Smile when you leave the stage. Smile.
19. Videotaping yourself speak can be very confronting but necessary, especially if you want to improve.
20. Take extra effort to remove all your pause fillers from your speech. Common culprits include “urm”, “ah”, “so”, “you know”, “hmm” etc. They are known to reduce your credibility ten folds.
21. One way of overcoming them is to get used to the silence.
22. Stop asking WHY. (Why am I so sucky in speaking? Why did the audience look so bored?) Try asking HOW. (How can I be less sucky? How can I make the audience interested in what I have to say?) Why gets you defensive and stuck. How gets you moving forward.
23. Remember some of your audience’s names and use them in your speech. They will love you for it!
24. The best speeches are not written, they are rewritten.
25. The next time you prepare a speech, do some imagination. If your speech is a piece of music, what music will it be? If your speech is a colour, what colour will it be? If you speech is a dish, what dish will it be? The secret is to cross and merge different senses so that your speech becomes richer and more real to the audience.
26. Have “flesh” time with your audience before you get up on stage to speak.
27. Plan-Pause-Scan: Plan where you want to stand. Pause and get yourself composed. Scan at the audience. And then begin your memorized introduction.
28. Once in a while, take a risk in your speech.
29. Each time you think of something safe to do for your speech, reverse it!
30. Find things that are “just not done” in the speaking industry and go do it (for the fun of it!)
31. Ask “Why not?” Almost everything you don’t do has no good reason for it. It is usually the result of fear and assumption. So why not?
32. Treat your next speech like a game! Have loads of fun with it!
33. I learned this from Seth Godin: One message per slide. Part of the less is more rule.
34. Be really interested in your audience. It shows.
35. Ask and you shall receive. Never be afraid to ask for feedback. Do it for yourself.
36. Always write your speech because what is written can be edited to be more colorful, concise, powerful and precise.
37. Read ONE public speaking article a day. Try The Public Speaking Blog.
38. You are only as good as your last speech.
39. The two main arsenal of a speaker is his stories and analogies. The better his stories and analogies, the more he get paid. (Thanks Darren La Croix for the tip!)
40. Pay attention to stories and things that happen to us. (funny stuff does happen)
41. Audience laughed when they are successfully tricked. That’s the mechanic behind humor.
42. Be knowledgeable – know your stuff. Present 70% of what you prepared. Keep the rest for emergency purposes for eg. during Q&A or when you need to show off.
43. You get creative ideas at all time. Carry around a digital recorder or notebook everywhere you go. Whenever a creative idea strikes you, record or write it. You only have 37 secs of window time to capture the idea. Don’t wait till you are booked for speech before you think of what to say.
44. 95% growth happens when you are out there with your audience. Yes, it’s another way of telling you to get stage time!
45. Don’t be afraid to say this to your audience - “RIP ME APART!” Repeat after me, “RIP ME APART!”
46. 10 “You” for Every “I” in your speech! Remember, keep your speech audience-centric.
47. 台上十分钟，台下十年功 (realized this when I was competing in Macau in 2006). Here the direct translation: “Ten minutes on stage is equivalent to ten years of training offstage”.
48. It’s ok to fail or bomb on stage. What is more important is the lesson behind it. Learn it well and make sure you don’t forget.
49. Be willing to fall & fall forward.
50. Persistence is key. And I think you have it if you have read from point 1 all the way to point

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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I recently received a very interesting question and I would like to take some time to answer it here.

“Can you share with me on… how to make small talks with people of higher authority? (for eg, after attending a talk, there’re many people worth saying hi to…how to do tt without feeling out of place? what to say? how to start? )”

There are two parts to the question:
1. How do I make small talks
2. How do I make small talks with people of higher authority?

To answer both questions, I would first like to introduce you to a concept call SCHMOOZING. Schmoozing is more than small talk. And I would like to borrow the definition from a very insightful book titled Vault Guide to Schmoozing.

Schmoozing is noticing people, connecting with them, keeping in touch with them — and benefiting from relationships with them.

Schmoozing is about connecting with people in a mutually productive and pleasurable way — a skill that has taken on new importance in our fragmented, harried, fiber-optic-laced world.

Schmoozing is the development of a support system, a web of people you know who you can call, and who can call you, for your mutual benefit and enjoyment.

Schmoozing is the art of semi-purposeful conversation: half chatter, half exploration.

Schmoozing is neither project nor process. It’s a way of life.

Now that you have an idea of what schmoozing is, allow me to share with you three principles of schmoozing that will answer the above two questions.

1. SMILE!

You can’t go wrong with that. Smile and the whole world smiles back at you. Nothing is as powerful as a sincere smile. It cost nothing yet it means so much. The next time you attend any function, just smile at people around you. You will be surprised how easy it is to make the first connection!

2. Be REALLY interested in whoever you are talking to

If you are out there to get something out of everyone, it will show. Instead, try this. Go out and make a friend. Keep a “I want to know you better” mentality and creating small talks will be a piece of cake. In fact you will find yourself going beyond small talks and start enjoying every conversation you made.

3. Find a common ground

You smiled and made the first connection. You are really interested to know the other person. Now what? Simple. Find a common ground. You would never want to start a converation with a “So how old are you really?” or “I sell insurance, do you want to buy from me?” or “Are you Christian?” This is extreme but you get my point. So what are some topics you can talk about? If you are in a seminar, you can start with “What made you attend this seminar?” or “Who do know here?”. If you are in a party, you can start with “How do you know the birthday boy?” or “How do you find the food?” Notice that these questions are open-ended. Avoid asking the “Do you …” questions which often lead to a yes, no or maybe. Hardly a great way to start a conversation!

4. Listen!!!

Now that you have got the person talking. What do you do? SHUT UP and listen! Listen to what your new acquaintance has to say and paraphrase. Say he told you that he knew the birthday boy at another school party. You can continue by first paraphrasing “Oh so you went to that party with him…” and then proceed with “What party was that?” And make sure that you pay attention and really listen. Let him talk and you will have a chance to locate any common interests. Say “Oh yeah.. it was a party for my scuba diving club…” and if you like scuba diving, you can now delve deeper. “Really? I love to scuba dive! Where was the last place you went….” Got it?

5. Follow up

You have a wonderful time with the new acquaintance. And you both bid farewell. Ask for his number or business card. And when you get back home, send him an email or give him a phone call. Thank him for being so much fun. And you can proceed from there. We call that a follow up. And this is also the part where most people forget. In my opinion, it doesn’t make sense. You spend so much time and energy to turn a stranger into an acquaintance. Surely you won’t want to stop there. Besides you never know when you will need the person’s help or the person’s friend’s help. So always be gracious and remember to follow up!

The above five tips apply to schmoozing with higher authorities as well. But I know what most people will say: “He is a big shot… what if he gives me a cold shoulder?” From my experience, very seldom! In fact they love it when you take the proactive approach to get to know them. One thing that worked really well for me is this:

BONUS: DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

Before the big event, find out which big shots will be attending. You can usually find out via the event website or by asking the event organizer. Google for the big shot and very often you will find some information about him. Read it and memorize one important fact about him. For example, he recently organized a large technology conference in China. When you see him, ask him about it. This would be your “common ground” and he will be fairly impressed!

And I would like to emphasize this: ALWAYS FOLLOW UP! At the end of the conversation, thank the person and ask for his business card. They will usually not decline unless they run out of cards. Here’s one tactic I use all the time. “John, if the next time I have any questions on this topic, can I ask you?” They cannot say no. And even if they say no, they will usually refer you to someone else.

Once you collect his business card, send him a thank you email (at the very least) at the end of the day or the next morning. Thank him for sharing with you x, y and z. (You gotta remember what he shared!!!). And if you have any more clarification/questions, now would be the best time to ask. Without knowing, you have found yourself a mentor without really finding one!

There is really more to it so if you have any more questions, let me know.

Here’s another book that I would strongly recommend: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Eric Feng is the go-to guy if you want to learn how to impress your investors and customers through public speaking. For more tips and tactics that you can use immediately in your next presentation, visit The Public Speaking Blog.

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Surely by now you know how important it is to start strong but how exactly do we start our presentation with a bang? Here’s 7 sure-fire ways to start your presentation that will guarantee to knock the socks off your audience.

1. Open with a humorous/emotional story that leads to your key message

I have seen that been done a lot of times - especially by speech champions - with almost guaranteed success. We love stories, especially those that makes us laugh and have val